Dear Charlie,
I'm a senior in High School. I've been reading your letters and I like your advice. I need your input, since I can’t figure out what to do. I was at a party, when my friends and I got into a water fight. It was really fun and wild, but things got a little out of control. Water balloons, hoses, and water guns were flying everywhere. I threw a water balloon from the second story of the house and it accidentally hit a windshield. The windshield just happened to belong to the guy that I like. I felt so stupid and embarrassed, that I didn’t admit it was me. Since nobody saw me throw the balloon, he doesn’t know who did it. I hung out with him yesterday and he kept talking about how he has to pay for a new windshield. I am terrified to tell him it was me. Should I come clean? Or would that make me look like a total ass?
-Guilty of Aqua Crime
Dear Guilty of Aqua Crime,
You made an honest mistake. It’s not like you set out to vandalize your crush’s car, or to make the statement; “you better like me OR ELSE!” Look, in most situations, I would advise a person to do the right thing and fess up. However, I feel that in your situation this was truly an accident. With your age being taken into consideration, you are free to take your time. Everyone was being rowdy so it could have just as easily been someone else who shattered his windshield. You just happened to be the unlucky one. There are two sides to the coin here. Playing it safe would mean not speaking a word to him about what you know to be true (the fact that you did it), and continuing to play dumb. However, feelings of guilt may eat away at you after a while and fester in strange ways. Consider the option of offering to pay for the windshield without a confession. This option sounds like a good idea, and makes you look like a really nice girl. Right? Except that it is also a random voluntary act that may indicate you are either A) a pushover, or B) guilty. Look, if he is a nice guy, he will understand that this was a mistake, and not make you feel bad about it. If you really want him to understand where you’re coming from, you could tell him how you feel while you’re at it. This is the stuff that romances are made of. There is a logical explanation as to why you hesitated to own up. If he is not a nice guy, he will be turned off by your blunder and demand that you pay, meanwhile making fun of you for a mistake. Now be honest: are you attracted to nice guys? Or are you into “bad boys”? If this guy reacts like a jerk, then good luck because his smashed windshield is just a sign of things to come in terms of your relationship. That being said, I think this is actually a great “jerk test”. Maybe you will find that he’s not someone you want to date after all. I understand your feelings in this matter. I would also be afraid of the humiliation, the disappointment he might have in me, or the disappointment I might have in him after the truth comes out. It’s time to find out if he is a good guy, who is worth your time and high school experience. Romance aside, a good guy will not make you feel bad, or humiliate you in front of your friends. Telling him the truth will also tell you if you can trust him. Find out what his true colors are when you confide in him about the mortifying truth. If you honestly know that he is not really a nice guy, then spare yourself the humiliation of telling him that you dropped the ball-oon, and act like nothing happened. Reason being that if he is not a nice guy, then he deserved it. Furthermore, stay away from him romantically because he is bad news and he will only hurt you. Then again, if you like him, I’m guessing he probably possesses some good qualities. Therefore, I think you should confess by writing him a letter and telling him how you feel about him. Include payment for his windshield. I think this would be romantic. If you don’t have enough money, ask your parents to loan it to you. You are at an age when it’s completely acceptable to need financial help from your family. You could also offer to wash his car to make up for the situation. He will most likely think you are sweet. If he gets mad at you, then he is too immature to date. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! If you really don’t want to tell him that you are responsible for smashing his windshield, then you could write him a love letter telling him how you feel, and include a donation for the windshield. Don’t pay entirely, just offer to help. I think that would also be romantic, although you are taking responsibility in a non direct way. I understand how awkward and tough dating can be at your age, and I sympathize with your situation. I would not hold it against you if you didn’t come clean with him, and just decided to offer to help pay for it. Maybe if you guys get serious one day, you can confess the truth to him later and explain why it was so hard to tell him. Just remember: if he is a nice guy, he should understand, whether he is into you romantically or not. Also, don’t take it personally if he’s not attracted to you. He may only like women who look like his mom or his childhood babysitter. Who knows where his taste comes from? You will find the right match for you when the time is right. It could be him.... but for now, it’s all about trial and error. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes. Just try to learn from them, take responsibility, and not repeat them.
