Dear Charlie,
I work for a well known company and am pretty high in the rankings. I have to attend certain workshops and training sessions each year in order to keep my status. This means schmoozing with industry professionals, listening to long talks and lectures, and being bored out of my mind for 3 days straight. I usually skip unnecessary meetings and talks. We have a conference coming up, but now one of my colleagues is going to be sharing a room with me. He is very straight edge and no fun. I’m desperately trying to get out of going to this conference with him. Do you have any suggestions?
-Skippy the Conference Skipper
Dear Skippy,
Nothing says;”I’m lazy” like directly asking for advice on how to avoid doing your job and taking responsibility. It sounds like you’ve had your freedom to do as you please and come and go, up until now. Duuuuuuude, that sucks bro. Look Skippy, it’s been fun but the party’s over. I wouldn’t be surprised if your reputation was becoming known as a slacker, and that this colleague is being sent as supervision in disguise. I’m questioning whether you deserve your title (and salary). I’m sure there are probably plenty of people who do things like this. Although humorous, your slacker confession is insensitive to the current job issues in America right now. Many people have to compensate by working jobs they are overqualified for. Many Americans have taken a huge pay cut or been laid off. You’re asking me how to avoid standing up to the plate, being a man, and doing what everyone else in your position does in order to earn an honest income. Well Skippy, if you want my honest opinion, I don’t think you are very deserving of any of it. You are clearly unaware of how lucky you are, and therefor ungrateful. Your mentality towards your job is similar to that of a teenage delinquent who doesn’t want to go to school. It's fun to play hooky with boring adult stuff, but everyone has to grow up. It's your turn. Do the right thing and go to the conference and show this colleague that you are deserving of what you have and where you stand. While you're at it, grow up.
