Dear Charlie,
I don’t have any children, but my fiancé and I plan to one day. What bothers me is a rude mom. Yesterday we were in an ice cream parlor, and a woman came in with her daughter and husband. Her daughter appeared to be around age 6 or so. They were a young and well dressed family, but they got on our sh*t list really quick. When the little girl ran up to the counter and cut in front of several people, her mother did not correct her. In fact, she praised her and acted as though she was more important than everyone else. Now their whole family had cut the line too, and was standing directly behind us. Then, clearly seeing that we had not yet ordered, the mom proceeded to order from behind us, as though we weren’t even there! Isn’t that annoying?! What should I have done?
-Not a Mom
Dear Not a Mom,
Yes, that is annoying. It is also rude, selfish, obnoxious, and poor mannered. I’m giddy that you have written to me to validate your irritation, which is so completely and undeniably legitimate. I wish you had called her out. I understand your apprehension, but you could have politely said “excuse me, we were in front of you and you’ll have to wait your turn”. That would be completely acceptable of you to say, even in front of a child. The parenting skills you witnessed are an exact example of what you should strive NOT to be, when you someday take on the great challenge of parenting. She should have showed her daughter how to respect others, but instead she set a bad example. What happened to teaching our children the message that everyone in the world matters? It’s such a tacky (and ugly) trait when a mother only shows concern for her own child’s comfort and well being, and disregards everyone else. The mother you witnessed sounds like she has a superiority complex. I love how she enforced her little brat’s behavior by continued to rudely ignore the fact that there was a line of equally valuable people who were there before her. These are the moms who are so stuck in their own little world of parenting that nobody else matters outside of their family circle. They walk around with the attitude that “I only care about the people I am related to and whom I bore”. They seem to view all other people as a distraction or interruption to their daily life. They make every exception in the world for their child’s bad behavior, and are very demanding on other people. Everyone is aware of their rudeness and lack of regard. However they use it to their advantage that no one wants to cause a scene or call them out in front of their child. This is how they get away with it. They pass on their superior mentality to their children. Then they condone their child’s poor manners by feeding into their every whim; permitting them to behave badly without explanation. They are teaching their children the wrong messages. Nothing spells S-P-O-I-L-E-D like a daunting Mother or Father who only has eyes for their own offspring. There’s loving, there’s doting, and then there’s just plain spoiling. I mean really, how selfish can some parents be? To answer that question, the sky is the limit. I have seen parents be so completely self centered and unaware of themselves that it’s despicable. Doting parents need to ask themselves: is your child really the only person who matters on the planet? If you have answered; “Well they must be, since they came from me”, then you are in desperate need of an attitude adjustment. In other words, get over yourself. Parents like this are on my “sh*t list” too. Self centered parents assume they are entitled to take precedence over everyone else. They seem to think that no one else in the world could possibly be as valuable as they are. Due to the fact that you are aware of yourself, your surroundings, and the feelings of others, you will not be a Mom like this. Be thankful that you have such lovely traits to be able to call this crappy attitude out, and next time speak up. Even if you don’t get the response you were hoping for, you will feel better. Someone needs to set an example to the younger generations of how to be respectful in public. We learn from women like this, not to repeat their mistakes. I’d say assess the situation next time this happens, but be prepared (and be proud) to assert yourself and correct a rude parent in public. You can be the bigger person by politely showing them that this behavior is not publically acceptable and won’t be tolerated (at least in your presence). Remember, a passive attitude sends the message that the behavior is acceptable. The only way to correct it is to say something. Some parents are no better or more mature than their children.
