Dear Charlie,
I have a very stressful job. I feel like I’m working all the time but I have to pay my bills. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to support myself living alone in this beautiful apartment, which is very nice. I feel like I can’t afford the time to enjoy the things that I work so hard to pay for. I'm always stressed out. I exercise, but I find that when things get really stressful, I tend to eat. I can’t help it. I find myself curled up on the couch with ice cream, chips, popcorn or cookies most nights. I didn’t used to be like this, but now I’m gaining weight from it. I just keep eating. I don’t know how to stop. I am miserable.
-Stress Eater
Dear Stress Eater,
“All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy” x 1,000,000 -Jack Nicholson, The Shining. Given the fact that you are probably not mentally ill, neither being possessed by a homicidal ghost, nor living in an abandoned Hotel in the Mountains, you will probably never amount to such extreme levels of insanity. I do think that you need some balance in your life though, or you will go nutty. You admitted it; you eat your way through stress. Research binge eating. There's plenty of information and support out there for you. Comfort food cravings are increased with stress. Eating sugary carbs elevates more sugary carb cravings. Welcome to one of the most common weight gain issues of the century. If you’re going to be impulsive about something, it would behoove you to condition yourself to like something healthy and productive for your body. There's this song and dance; when you exercise, you release positive endorphins in your body (which is like taking a shot of happiness). Why not turn this into a 2 for 1 deal? Food is not the enemy, but it effects your physical appearance. You must replace this habit with a hobby, and preferably an active one. Give yourself rewards for being "good", but learn to like healthier options. If you insist on being lazy, then simply make the adjustment of closing the kitchen at 7PM and only eating bad early in the day. An “everything in moderation” axiom must be put into effect. Maybe you can start walking those cravings away? Buy a bike? Journalize? Clean? Paint? Do improv.? Help someone in need? Different kinds of yoga are famous for helping people feel centered. Music has healing powers too. It sounds like you have some depression going on, whether it’s something you are prone to, clinical, or just episodic. Some people go on meds, other people want nothing to do with them. Some depression is just situational and goes away when things change or get better. Other times it’s more serious. Not everyone can afford therapy nor wants it. It’s hard to dig yourself out of a rut, but by empowering yourself, you will feel your mood lifted. You’re doing the right thing by reaching out online for support. It’s unfortunate when your personal life lacks that, but it’s a reality for many. Not everyone is a social butterfly by nature and not everyone has a rock star support system to turn to. Here’s a thought; activities can lead to friends. Friends offer support. Who knows the possibilities therein… The stress vs. depression and comfort eating is a cycle I have battled with myself. Believe me; I am with you on this challenge. I used to eat chocolate whenever I was stressed. That adds up over time, and I became more “round”. I eventually didn’t know whose caboose that was in the mirror. It didn’t look like mine. I had to condition myself to enjoy taking walks instead. I had to retrain myself not to eat when I wasn’t hungry, and when I was, to eat for nutrition. Sometimes you don’t want to leave your apartment because you just want to be alone, but you can go for a walk without engaging people. Get lost in your own solitude and tune everyone out. Be in your own little world. It’s fun and it’s your right. It can be very therapeutic to spend alone time somewhere tranquil. If you’re in NYC, there’s not a lot of space like that beyond Central Park, but you should seek nature one way or another. That’s something people who live in really big cities can become deprived of. I believe that’s one thing that makes some New Yorkers absolutely miserable. We need nature and we should seek it from time to time. Last but not least, you may want to step back and re-evaluate your ideals. Is it more important to have nice things and pay a fortune for luxuries you can never afford the time to use? Or would you maybe be happier with a down sized apartment, less demanding job, more hobbies, and a personal life (maybe even a reasonable roommate too)? The choice is yours… what is life about anyways?
