Dear Charlie,
My girlfriend and I have been together for quite some time now. In the beginning of our relationship I pushed us to adopt a kitten. At the adoption agency, we fell in love with an adorable little kitten. As we were about to leave, another bigger kitten caught her eye and we decided to adopt the pair. The little one is by far more dominant, despite his size. Often times he torments the bigger one by wrestling with him or biting his tail. We do our best to defend him, but we can't be there all the time. Recently, to my horror, my girlfriend suggested we ship the bigger one off to some little old lady that better suits his sleepy eyed personality. Instead of disciplining the bad one or separating the two for a "time out", she preferred to just get ride of the poor lad. I was shocked to discover that she would abandon the very kitten she had picked out just because his world wasn't perfect. Well, that is just unbelievable to me - I love them both and I have a responsibility to keep them healthy and happy. I am so torn. PLEASE HELP!!!!
-Cat Lover
Dear Cat Lover,
I would like to start by telling you to forget your girlfriend, and date me instead. Just kidding. Instead, I will say that I’m so impressed with how sweet and caring you are. I am tickled by your concern. Your integrity and devotion is astonishing. You are incredibly responsible too! My assumption is that you are sensitive to others and care very deeply about those around you. Loyalty is a truly golden quality that every woman dreams of finding in a man, but very few do. I’d say your girlfriend struck gold with you. The question is how? Did she come by it naturally? Was it an accidental discovery? Or was she DIGGING for it? There are all kinds of women out there. Let’s hope your girlfriend is appreciative and deserving of what she has. As for your feline dilemma, it sounds like both you and your girlfriend are “cat people”. Some people are not, and don't give a hoot about the animals. If you and your mate are however, it’s a wonderful compatibility. I can personally relate to your situation, because I have to monitor my cats all the time. One of my cats is a menace and knows when he is being naughty. He will wait until I’m not looking to pester my other, more docile cat. In fact, my troublemaker cat is patronizing my passive cat (while he’s trying to nap) as we speak. They mature and calm down as they get older, but they are like children. Their personalities develop over time. There are many possibilities and things to consider which may help explain what lead to your girlfriends bothersome suggestion. Assuming you live together, one person might provide financially, while the other does more of the footwork. I would just suggest to acknowledge that this is a team effort, granted that it is. Here's an eterntaining thought: do you happen to play favorites? If so, is this could cause many repercussions. For instance, is this particular cat you are concerned about “the favorite” for you? This could be a case of favoritism rivalry. Perhaps your girlfriend is jealous of this cat and wants to be the favorite again? Then there’s the possibility that the other cat is jealous that you favor this one, and has charmed (brainwashed or manipulated) your girlfriend to have him removed!?! Sometimes we are working for our cats and don’t even know it... those clever little devils. Realistically, you should take it into consideration that your girlfriend was simply trying to come up with a solution for the better interest of the cat. She probably didn’t intend to “abandon” him, but was just thinking out loud. This was her impromptu expression for concern about his discomfort. I don’t think you should take it so seriously. I think his well being is important to both of you, but your girlfriends’ suggestion is bothersome because you feel she is abandoning him. Even without knowing your girlfriend, I don’t think that’s the case despite how it sounded. Your girlfriend probably does not want to abandon the cat, but rather make him happy. This is sweet. Perhaps she thought for a moment that this was like sending him to college, now that he is grown (and seems unhappy). Maybe she wants him to have a better life? You know, you can still be a “cat person” even if you are allergic to them. I have a friend who insist on having a cat, despite her allergies. Is your girlfriend allergic to cats by any chance? If so, this would make it easier for her to detach herself from said creature. Pet allergies can become absolutely debilitating and unbearable for the daily functioning of some people. Perhaps she was just thinking of everyone's health mentally and physically, but didn't really mean it? You are very sweet, but don’t forget your priorities. If your girlfriend and 2 cats were all drowning, who would you save? If you answer: ”I would probably die trying to save them all”, then you’ve got a problem. A cat is a wonderful and irreplaceable companion, but it is an ANIMAL and is incomparable to human companionship. Maybe your girlfriend is feeling underappreciated lately? Some people go a little nutty over their pets. I know a girl whom was told to sleep on the couch because her boyfriend's dog was more comfortable on the bed! That was the end of that relationship. Also, if you happen to walk on the bathroom rug when it has been freshly cleaned, that might also cause your girlfriend to lash out on the cat. You may want to stop that. Just kidding. Finally, is it possible that your girlfriend has a history with feline pets? People often become so attached to their pets, that they form a bond similar to that of parents and children. This emotional connection is devastated with the passing of a pet, and a person may feel apprehensive to get close again to another animal, for fear of that same devastation. You will most likely outlive your pets, and that is a loss unlike any other (if you don’t have children). You sound like you would make an excellent Father. Maybe you should get married and have children? Unless of course, you feel your girlfriend does not deserve you, or you don’t want to marry her, in which case you should break it off as soon as possible. If there is an issue of your girlfriend being unable to reproduce, there is always adoption. Just like you adopted your cats, you would bond and feel even stronger for a little person. Imagine the possibilities…
